WALLET

So as you can probably guess by now I needed a new place to put all of my money because keeping it in my pockets and under old peoples pillows isn't good. Once I ran out of pocket and shoe money so I was forced to creep into several rooms in the middle of the night of course to be as unintrusive as possible I dressed in as much black as I could find however I forgot about the automatic lights so the first room I visited thought they were being robbed and caused a scene. After that I just slammed open the door as loud I could to let the dreamers wake up and to let everyone know I was coming and I would simply say, "The pillow. Render unto me your pillow." And then if they looked at me in that old-person I'm not in control of my mind way, I screamed it at them until they gaveme it in fear. Thought to be totally honest, I might have been pretty loud anyway as I had my headphones on and blaring so I couldn't really hear anything so a lot of people may have been crieing for help as i sauntered down the halls with my money pillows. anyway i needed a new place for my money and my good old pal Grisbee (Frisbee and Grapes 'adopted' son) told me about wallets.

And this is the story of how I got a wallet, and how it saved a child's life (almost.)

Well to tell you the truth the wallet story isnt that's great. I went to a few places (SEARS, MACYS, LOWS ET CETERA) but couldnt find anything that was up to my standsards or style. So anyway Grisbee told me he knew a man who sold wallets but it would cost me. I laughed and said "HEH no it won't cost.....me.... ONE RED CENTS!! Gris just looked at me like what? But I quickly said oh nothing child don't concern yourself with these adult themes DONT LOOK IN THERE! look in where? he asked. His answer was a handful of change thrown directly at him.
"Is this even eenough? This is mostly pennies."
I had my headphones on at the time but hadn't yet turned ipod up loud enough to not hear this kid so I just said, "Don't know don't care make it happen." And he asked louder so I yelled like 5 times as loud as I could

"DONT KNOW DONT CARE MAKE IT HAPPEN."

And he just stood there looking at me and I was like seriously? What? And he was like, "THIS IS NOT ENOUGH." So i told him to ask his parents or something, because I didn't know what to tell him that I hadn't already told him six time so I smacked the change out of his hand and said, "count it again, chump."

Anyway here's my new wallet!

(I don't like the dead one.)




and here is why you came to read this: here is how it almost saved a child.

I was walking around the premises one day and one of the homeless children from the woods in the back was wandering around all sorts of confused. I asked him if I could help him, he said you could give me food please sir. So I told him off because his family should still have that wolfs meat from the meat party that I gave to them in the goodness of my heart and we have enough problems with food rations back in the building. So anyway I had a change of heart and I said hold on kid let me look in my wallet

And that's how the wallet almost saved that child, and it would have saved that kid if it had any money in it at all even enough to buy just one dog kibble