I said you are lying to the officer and he raised his brow at me and squinted his eyes so i said ok let me show you and i took one of the phones from the table and said to goodle "where do indisnans come from" and goohle said india so i said 'see' to the cop and he said ok look were taking these phones and youre never gonna do this again do you understand.
YES i said barely holding back my anger from these illegal children stealing our phones and our rights YES I UNDERSTAND but he didnt know that i had my fingers crossed like a wolf in the tall grass
so as you can probably guess fellow true americans i was pretty mad about all of this because i had it all. I was living the dream- 147 pokemon across 17 phones and i had more pokeballs than any oneman could ever count (believe me i tried to. such is the life of a rich man) and childrean and their parents would gawk in hjealously when i walked past them. Its the pokeman theyd say, the candy man, the man with 147 pokemon and they would ask if i could spare them a tasty candy sir please sir to level up our creatures like yours? and i said no i dont know how to do that but even if i did i wouldnt give them even one. They asked me for tips and you know as a rugged individual i believe that no one should ever have anything handed to them so i debated on this and then i decided that sometimes the best advice is deception because it teaches good lessons and mistrust of others so i told them sure let me hack your phones sot hat you can capture the best pokeomn like charbsisard with ease and unlimited candy to lure them and even the rare meowto. so i took the one boys phone and then messed around on it and ran away and kids started screaming at me that i stole the phone and the parents screamed too and the angry crowd eventually caught me but i said im sorry i though t i saw a meowto over here to catch for you and its gone now heeres your phone. but I did delete one of his psyducks before they caught me.
anyway thats why the cops came i think and stole my things.
So while this blog is wildly successful it wasnt enough for me because i had grown accustomed to a standard of living far beyond your simple minds, so i needed to make more cash, and needed it quick before the goverment came and stole it all from me again.
It began small, I was the pokeman. And i told people about how uncle S(C)AM came and stole my 147 seven animals and all their food and treats and now i donnt know what to do. and lots of people said that they would have shot up the place without provocation if someone even looked at one of their animals and called me rude names and some said no single person has any business owning 147 animals and i said you have your rights to your guns and i have my rights to 147 animals and it got a lot of traction on the internet and people rallied around my cause. someone started a patron for me and gave me lots of money which i then spent on a cruise in which i lost all of my money on the on board casino and thats where i met Vik.
Vik came from some place around the world i dont know where and he said to me ,"you are one called pokeman?" and i said yes. "american with stolen animals?" yes that is me drowning my sorrows what have they done to my animals Vik? And Vik said they are probably dead now but that i could use my anger and hatred to haunt the government like, 'ghost of user' and if i did this he would pay off my many debts.
Anyway we met in dark room s many times and i met a lot of guys just like vik and they talked amongst themsevles and laughed a bunch and i didnt know what to say. so then when the cruise was ending they said that i would hear from them soon and they would help me extract my just revenge.
anyway a few months later i get a phone call from president don trump telling me that im his new NSA secirity advisor and that they would come by tomorrow and that he had the biggest inogyouration ever and that people loved him and they owuld love me and let me tell you- you would not believe what this man had to say. I said wow sir i am so surprised so and how are you?
He sresponded that the polls were rigged and that, "If the disgusting and corrupt media covered me honestly and didn't put false meaning into the words I say, I would be beating Hillary by 20%," and thats when i realized that the dee[ state must be in cahoots with the media because there is literally no other way to interpret tweeting "Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!" at an irrational despot with nuclear capabilities and miles of heavy artillery ready to rain annihilation upon one of our closest allies at a moment's notice, as anything but reasonable. it is also when i realized that shillary crimetown is trying to undue all democratic processess set forth by the constitution and shes still trying ot steal the presidency from him which is why he and fox news talks about her so much even though she lost over a year ago.
people love him he said hes making america great again for americans like me and i laughed and said, "ya right buddy you sure have your work cut out for you i dont think this country will ever be great again" and he said, "I alone can fix it" ill be honest before the phone call i was pretty grim about the state of things but i believed the man and accepted his offer.
So I wrapped things up in the home and like our president i am very loved there and there were a lot of cheering and clapping hands and even MY BOSS came in to give me well wishes but I sent MY BOSS away because I had just received an ominous email about the russians and it was now my job to read it so I said 'sorry important matters please leave dumdum cant you see im busy with my work? not that youd know what work it but please leave.' and they did.
Anyway the email spooked me because it had a lot of words i didnt understand about a lot of things i didnt know anything about and it talked about election hacking and how the russians were in our power plants and about some murders in some place i dont care about with neruotoxins which reminded me a lot of what i learned in my stelthwerks class if you rememebr me talking to you about that. I responded to the email and said, "looks like kill-her-please clamclown (I meant hillary clinton) did this.' and the person who sent the email said 'no the russians did this'. And I said, 'the russians did this?' and the person responded 'yes the russans did this.' So i got my good new pal don on the line and asked him if the russians did this and were using guarded stelthwerks secrets.
He said, "Look, having stealthwerks—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you're a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the stealthwerks deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (stealthwerks is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us."
And so I said, 'Don the persians are doing this too? I thought it was just the russians" and heasked what I meant and I said the russians are messing everything up for us WELL EXCUST MY LANGUAGE FOLKS BUT DANG I'M FIRED NOW I SAW IT ON THE TWEET
crud.
