What a world we live in where the old folks home you work for your heard earned buck suddenly is infested with the rampant zmobie viruses which your employers claim to have traced back to when you accidently invited that Hobo Meta-Shaman onto the premises who sprinkled his corpse rust on the nameless shouting Booga Booga Booga etc etc and then suddenly YOU are suddenly facing termination from your job. I told my boss it’s lucky that unemployment rate is at a whopping 55% percent which is worse than divorce percentages, else I would BID THIS PLACE A DO.
Mystery Shoes
Time Baby
As the reanimated dead emanatine from forgotten corners and tombs of this home I sit staring at the Broken Laptop of Legend and memories of other jobs I had been fired from flood my visage
When I worked at the supermarket I was fired because when I was stocking Lunchables in the cold section I wanted to show off to a group of teenagers so I said Lunchables? More like HITABLES and smacked the food pouch and kicked it over four isles and it rained cracker and meat bits all over an old lady trying to buy her sweet honey tarts (Also tried to market Hitables idea the snack you can punchtm)
When I worked the night shift at Walmart they caught me rearranging the stuffed animals with my coworker Robert so that the morning customers would find a giant deviant orgy in the toy isles
I worked with a man named Bilbo who made plastic baby jesus’s in his shed and he would sell these to the churches and I was his apprentice and I would craft my jebus babbys with my golden hammer but it was really distracting because Bilbo was always blasting his political radio talkshows in the shed and I would get distracted and my babys would have hideously long arms and misshapen feet and Biblo would holler at me with his eye patch and I would have to dump the deformed Christ dolls in the river out back with the wheelbarrow.
Let me also tell you about the time I worked at The Pizza Factory and I somehow misplaced my Pizza Delivery Warmer and I didn’t know what to do but remembered that my xbox was overheating a lot but I was only able to ram 3 of teh slices into the disk drive and the smell it made was something like battery fluid and marinara sauce so I gave up and ate the rest of the pizza myself which made me feel rerally guilty for the customers but I did give them the PBOX 360
I tell you I went back to that meta-shaman and demanded he speak about the GodHead. He told me about breathing water, and the number 19. He told me of The Fish Magi of the East. I asked him what it’s like to be a god, and he said it is having unlimited power - enough to rule the world - but with no desire to use it, because you are the world. And he told me that the only one with the power to stop this plague of walking dead, this residency of zombie and rot, was a man, a holy man, a prophesier known to me.
“Frisbee”
Before disappearing forever, he told me I will enter his lair.
MISS YA BILBO :-(
