SCIENCE DAY

HELLO MY FELLOW TIME-TRAVELERS AND SCIENCE ENTHUSIASTS SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A WHILE BUT THE REASON IS I AM A VERY BUSY MAN VENTURING INTO THE WORLD OF SCIENCE AND TIME. I HAVE BEEN WATCHING A TON OF STEVE HAWKINGS ON THE SCIENCE CHANNEL SO GUESS WHAT - IT IS INDEED SCIENCE DAY HERE AT THE CARE HOME AND I HAVE BEEN HARD AT WORK MAKING FUN ACKTIVITIES TO BRIGHTEN UP THE BORING AND UNEVENFULT LIFE OF YON GRAVEYARDITES

 

First up “Snake Boxes” activity which is nothing more than me packing up half my snake collection in cardboard boxes and painting on the boxes different words such as “clothing” and “hard candy snacks” and when the nameless are investigating these science crates I burst into the room saying GET AWAY FROM THEM BOXES THEY ARE FULL OF POISONOUS SNAKES as I hurl the boxes into my handcrafted whirlwind machine. This machine is like a giant centrifuge that circulates the snakes we then study them carefully in their Free Flight making note of the Coriolis effect. The machine often overheats so everyone in the room needs to take turns crawling beneath the spinning snakes dragging their pails of water so they can dump these into the coolant tanks and keep in mind the snakes are wailing their inhuman screams only achieved when we reach 100 SRPM or Snake Revolutions Per Minute which is why during the experiment I kept screaming at the tops of my lungs for more water so that the machine doesn’t overheat and we end up getting sucked up into that giant snake tornado. The idea is to study the fight or flight response.

I turned the downstairs toilet into a raging volcano or geyser and hooked up as many hydraulics as I could to the power grid. Our building has become fully functional through science and creativity. I then scream NOW WITNESS THE FOLLY OF NATURAL SELECTION the idea being to disprove evolution which is the basis of all witchcraft folklore. By dismantling our volcano toilet we were reunited with the yoke of our species and within minutes everything was shut down including the snake machine and all lights. In the complete darkness I calmly waited for Our Lord Jesus to come and pass upon us his judgment and evolve my darkened snake kingdom into a race of snake shock troopers. "Half of science is surprises followed by mystery and the other half is suspended belief."

I invited Steven Hawking to my snake evolution so that he would be assimilated into my new species of snake people. I guess he would act as some type of god king who would command my new army of snake troopers. 

Very frequently I daydream about my snake god traveling the cosmos in his computer chair which also had rockets on it and him speaking in that weird disembodied computer voice with the volume all the way up so it sounds like God's Voice were he to travel to new planets with his tactical pad (tacpad) on his arm to help him to discover new life so that he may teach many alien boys and girls about black holes and new kinds of metals they can use as weapons and then he winks at them and flies off into the Blue Sky for new adventures. He will have full knowledge of space time continuum which is why you can expect lots of our history being rewritten by steve hawks and with all the Tangent Universes going on things are going to get pretty strange. The twist would be that the chair is actually alive instead of the paralyzed snake god thing. So you may think that one way to kill the snake king is to focus all attacks directly on the chair but you better believe its gonna be tough because the STEVHAWX chair has many strap-on pulpusion boosters that detach in deep orbit so even if you damage the chair enough its pointless – it’s just going to fly away and detach its limp snake body toward the earth and who knows what that thing is capable of doing.

WHEN I HAVE A COMPLETE MASTERY OF BOTH TIME AND SPACE I WILL BE ABLE TO PREVENT THE ENTIRE WAR WITH THE GOD CHAIR AND THUS BECOME A CHRONO ‘NOSTRAND’ TRIGGER - HERO OF TIME. OR PERHAPS IT WILL HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED? PERHAPS, THROUGH THE MIRACLE OF SCIENCE, YOU ALREADY KNEW ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOU READ IT BEFORE YOU READ ABOUT KNOWING ABOUT IT.